Counting the Ways
by Cherry8914
Summary: She didn't mean to start comparing him to Dean Winchester.  It just happened. Because no one could ever measure up to Dean.


A/N: The Supernatural characters belong to Kripke and the CW. Nothing is mine, though I would looove to borrow Sam for a while. ;)

**Counting the Ways**

His eyes didn't crinkle like Dean's did. That was one of the first things that Lisa noticed. When Dean would smile, really, truly smile over something, he would smile so big that the corners of his eyes would crinkle. It was how she knew something had truly made him happy.

Matt's smiles were more laid back and relaxed. Of course he didn't have the weight of the world resting on his shoulders the way Dean did. He hadn't seen the things that Dean had seen. In a lot of ways Matt was still innocent.

She missed Dean's smiles. Especially the ones that were solely meant for her.

She had met Matt through a friend. Kate's husband worked with Matt at the hospital. A doctor. It was a very respectable position. Saving lives. Helping heal people. They would often talk about his day and his patients, but she found herself thinking he was rather arrogant about it all. Their friends would "oooh" and "awwwwwe" about his stories from surgery and his heroic save, agreeing he was a God send and how hard it must be for him some days. He would agree and complain about the pay and how rude and hateful some patients could be.

He wasn't humbled by his job like Dean was. Dean didn't complain about his job that way. He didn't complain about not making hundreds of dollars a month. She knew the lack of pay was hard on him, and on his brother, and they would joke about their life style, but she never once heard them truly complain that they weren't being paid enough….they were never paid at all. Dean always told her that if he didn't do it, then who would? It was his job because he knew what was really out there, he had to help. As lonely as it was, as unsafe and dangerous, as crazy as it all was…he did it because he wanted to save people.

Matt hadn't bounded with Ben the way Dean had.

Matt had been shocked to find out she had a son and she had been so sure he wouldn't continue with his plan to ask her out. But he had. Their first few dates he had insisted on going to fancy restaurants, claiming that they were no place for a child. While she appreciated the nice dinners and a chance to dress up, she missed cooking for Ben and Dean. She missed the random diners they would talk her into going to. When Matt finally met Ben, she could tell right away that her son wasn't impressed.

"So, Ben…uh…seen that new Toy Story movie yet?" Matt had asked him, throwing a wink over his shoulder to Lisa in a 'See, I've got this' way.

"Dude, I'm twelve, not six." Ben had replied rather offended.

Lisa had hid a smirk, knowing for a fact he had seen it. Disney movies were a weakness they shared, but it wasn't one her son would be willing to share with a stranger.

"Zombies is where it's at." Ben continued with a grin.

Looking shocked, Matt frowned, "Isn't that a little much little man? Too gory?"

Lisa had almost laughed aloud. Ben had been taken by Changelings when he was eight, he knew the supernatural truly existed, something like an old zombie movie was defiantly not going to scare her son. Besides that, he knew that Dean and Sam were out there protecting people.

"Alright then, well, uh-" Matt rubbed the back of his neck, "what about cars? You like cars?"

Ben's face lit up slightly at this and he nodded.

Matt grinned, "I've got this sweet Mercedes-Benz!" He didn't notice Ben's face melt into one of disbelief…or if he had, he took it the wrong way. "She's a beauty. 2011, black. I only bring her out for special occasions. Maybe I'll take you for a spin some time."

It was then that he had noticed the look on Ben's face. Lisa couldn't help herself this time, she laughed, trying to hide it behind a hand. "Matt…Ben's more of a Chevy fan." She told him with a shrug.

"Yeah, especially Impalas. Now those are awesome! Not those new ones that look like crap though, the older ones, like the ones from 1967. Best year for the Impala. Have you heard those babies roar? It's sweet! And you could fit a body in that trunk!" Ben exploded, waving his hands about. "And they're really durable! Nothing can slow those babies down!"

It tugged on Lisa's heart because she knew the only reason Ben loved Impalas so much, the only reason he knew about them, was because of Dean. Despite keeping his Impala in the garage constantly, he had taught Ben a few things about keeping it, or _her_ rather, clean and run able. Dean hadn't minded Ben hanging around, he hadn't minded spending time with her son and teaching him things that he needed to know…and some he didn't need to know.

Matt treated her like some respectable lady who couldn't make her own choices on occasion. Dean had, usually, let Lisa make her own decisions. He knew she could handle herself.

The first time she and Matt had went to a bar together; he had tried ordering her some fruity little drink. It wasn't that Lisa didn't like those types of drinks, they were rather tasty, but it wasn't her style. She usually preferred beer, especially on game night.

"Wait, you're a baseball fan?" He had wondered in surprise.

She shrugged, "Not a huge fan, but I like the occasional game. And the only thing worth drinking on nights like tonight, is beer." She raised her bottle and tipped it towards him before taking a long sip.

"Well, I'll be damned." He grinned, "A woman who doesn't hate sports. Are pigs flyin'?"

They laughed together before turning to watch the game, but there had been a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that said he hadn't truly believed her.

They didn't fight like she and Dean had. Not the real fighting, but the bickering just because they knew exactly how to push each other's buttons. She missed those fights. She missed watching Dean try to keep a straight face as she got angry. She missed the way his eyes gave him away, grinning even though he was frowning. She missed the making up they would do afterwards.

Whenever she and Matt would even get close to fighting, he would back down by either saying, "They should agree to disagree," or "you're right". It was annoying to her.

Like the time they were driving home from one of their dates. A song she enjoyed had came on the radio and immediately Matt had changed the station. Grinning and feeling a spark of mischief ignite within her, she had reached out and changed it back. Matt only looked annoyed and changed it back, "That song is horrible."

"You're kidding, right? It's powerful and catchy and makes you want to dance." She argued.

With a sigh and a roll of his eyes he changed it back, his hands tightening on the steering wheel.

She stared at him in disbelief for a moment. Was he really getting so worked up over something as simple as a disagreement on a song? Dean would have kept the station where it was, giving her a cocky grin and turning up the volume so that he would pretend he didn't hear her protesting. She, of course, would have changed it back, holding her hand over the buttons so that he couldn't change it to his station. This would have led to poking, poking would have led to gentle slaps, gentle slaps would have led to tickling and tickling would have led to rushing home and to the bedroom.

His arms didn't make her feel safe and protected the way Dean's had.

When they were curled up together on the couch, watching a movie or some tv, Matt would always wrap his arm around her shoulders. He didn't always pull her close, but usually his arm was there. It wasn't that he wasn't muscular, because he was. He worked out in the mornings before work or late at night after work. He had the arm muscles that she loved. But his hold never seemed to affect her the way Dean's had. Dean's had always let her know he was there, that he was never going to let anything happen to her, whether it be supernatural or otherwise. He would pull her close, kiss the top of her head and continue watching whatever was on the tv. Matt's arm just sat there. Oh sure, he would smile at her, give her a wink…but it wasn't the same.

Each day her list seemed to grow longer and longer, counting the ways that Matt and Dean were different. She tried to convince herself once that the list was positive things, but they weren't. The truth was no one would ever compare to Dean Winchester. Dean was one of a kind. No one would ever match up to him. She would just have to accept that and carry on with her life. Besides, being with a doctor wasn't so horrible…

…but he wasn't a hunter.


End file.
